I received an interesting comment from Mary Ann S. on Gather.com. She had read one of my articles about eliminating negative to achieve your goals. Mary Ann said, “I teach college English where I see students sabotage themselves and who also let others sabotage them. Why do friends and family members put obstacles in their paths?” She also mentioned how people will tempt their friends who are on diets with sweets and other “off-diet” foods.

You may very well have experienced the same kinds of things from your family and friends. I’m going to suggest four possible reasons, I’m no expert on human nature or anything, but I’ve been around for a while so I do have some opinions! I’m not suggesting that your family and friends are doing this on purpose or that they are aware of what’s going on. So, I’m not accusing anybody of anything, just observing!

1. Jealousy. This human emotion can show itself when your friends (I’m including family in that word from now on.) start to notice that you’re achieving things they’d like to achieve too. Or, maybe they are starting to believe that you believe in your plan and you just might succeed. Either way, jealousy could cause them to unconsciously introduce obstacles to prevent your success.
2. Guilt. This is another human emotion that is often felt subconsciously. If I see you accomplishing something that I really know I should be doing myself, I might well have some guilt feelings. “There she goes again accomplishing even more. I have the same abilities; what’s wrong with me?” She’s losing weight? I’ll offer her a cookie. After all, don’t friends share good things with their friends?
3. Fear. If you achieve success, it will put you in a different environment than I’ll be. I won’t be able to afford to live like you do. What’s going to happen to our friendship? Who will I hang out with?
4. There’s our old “friend” negative attitude. Let’s face it, we learn how to be negative as we grow up. We hear “no,” “don’t,” “you can’t,” and all kinds of other negative all the time. Negative is easy; positive is hard. Positive requires that you actually try!

So, how can YOU deal with this?

1. Love your friends as they are. They really don’t mean to do you harm, in fact they’re probably trying to help. They really aren’t aware of what they’re feeling or doing.
2. Change the subject. If your friends are talking negative, change the subject! Talk about anything positive. It doesn’t have to be about your goals; just destroy darkness by turning on the light! If you can’t change the subject, find someone else to talk to.
3. Listen to your coach or mentor. Pay attention to the people who have your success at heart. I’ll be they’re saying you can do it!
4. Stay focused. Keep your focus on your goal and on your action plan. You know what you’re doing, and you know it’ll succeed. Let the rest of them just stand around and watch; you’re going places!

That’s it! You can do it! Don’t listen to the nay-sayers, follow your dream, listen to your heart, and you will achieve your goal!

If you like this blog post, please share it with a friend by Digg-ing it and adding it to StumbleUpon. We sure would appreciate it!